Why did my review mysteriously disappear???? I think goodreads makes a lot of mistakes while updating the site:((( ********************************************* I was extremely hesitant before starting this book. I thought the captive/captor situation would bother me and that I would hate it if there was a dub-con or non-con scene. And I am never a fan of virgin girl/experienced man matches, especially if he is 32 and she is 20, which is a huge gap as far as life experiences are concerned. However, after finishing this book, I can say that there are more infuriating things than the issues I have counted above. I loved the first two books in this series although I am not a fan of mafia books but this one had a hero I couldn’t forgive and a heroine I strongly disliked. There will be spoilers ahead because I cannot talk about it without them so proceed with caution. ********************************************* Tips: If you can forgive a man who: Records you while you are sitting naked on his lap and while he is fingering you till you have your org*sm and then sends this video to your father for revenge purposes Then, you go read it. If you can forgive a man who did this to you – because it can never be undone – YOUR FATHER SAW THIS VIDEO! – and if you can love this man just because he is hot and charismatic or whatever… Well, then, be my guest and read it but the book finished for me when he did that! Actually, in the second half of the book, I started to like Ronan a bit. He got sweeter and all but I was never able to love him because I couldn’t forgive him. The heroine? Mila? Well, she forgives everyone, she is such a saint. So she did forgive him. I said I disliked her strongly already. ********************************************* Mila is silly and naive. She goes to Moscow to find her father who hasn’t been at home for a few months but she knows no address or any other information. She just flies to Moscow. Then, she is assaulted but she escapes before she is raped. And Ronan lives nearby and helps her at her worst, or she thinks so because later we learn that he lured her towards his place. He sent that man after her. And when he saw she was this beautiful young girl, he decided to rape her. What if he had succeeded? It would have been on Ronan’s hands. Whatever. She likes Ronan the moment she sets eyes on him and from then on, she is the one who initiates everything. I hate that. She kisses him first. Later, she begs him to f*ck her etc. She says she likes him first or she loves him first…blah bla. You get the picture, right? She has no self-respect or pride and she keeps embarrassing herself. Ronan says she is an easy p*ssy… How awful is that to hear it from a man you like!? He says she keeps embarrassing herself but she doesn’t change. She is this “sickeningly-good” person who acts lovingly towards everyone even if they have harmed her. It is infuriating and unbearable to watch her act with no self-preservation. Also, her acts of self-sacrifice were nauseating for me. There is “caring & helping” and then there is sheer stupidity. Whatever she does, she goes to extremes. She gives her coat to a homeless woman but then she is without a coat in the middle of winter and in the cold of Moscow. She is the daughter of a rich man. She could have done her good deeds in a clever way, she didn’t have to do them in a stupid way. She is also an extreme environmentalist and her humanitarian acts were also too much. She doesn’t wear fur or silk, she is a vegan and she refuses all products whose tests involved animals etc. I can understand that she cares about the nature, loves animals etc but refusing to eat honey???!!! I thought that was too much. Well, you can disagree with me, fine, but I don’t like people going to extremes and she got on my nerves. She even refuses to have a wedding ring at the end of the book because of some environmentalist reason I don’t understand. What was the purpose of creating such a person? Sickeningly-good and sweet people who seem perfect always get on my nerves because our imperfections make us unique and if you are nothing but perfect, you are either fake, boring or annoying for me. Whatever... Therefore, in the end, although I liked Ronan a bit, I never liked Mila. Like at all! ********************************************* As for those infamous scenes that have become a target of discussion, I am surprised to see that they were not bad at all. I thought I would feel awful while reading the scene where he takes her virginity in a rough way but actually that scene is not that bad. Ronan asks Mila if he can f*ck her but he asks it in Russian. She is ready for everything so even though she doesn’t understand the question, she assumes he is asking permission to have sex and she says yes because in her mind, she is ready for anything, even anal. There is no dub-con here. Ronan enters her harshly and when he sees she is a virgin, he gets a bit angry with her because she told him too many lies and led him to believe that she isn’t a virgin. When he sees he is hurting her, he stops and doesn’t go on while she is sore although she begs him to go on. Instead, although he is a man who doesn’t do it often, he gives her a soothing oral. When she is bloody, yes.
I had to copy & paste it again now but I seem to have lost all the images I used before.
***
Their relationship begins while she is not a captive but later she sees that everything that happened was preparing her towards her captivity. At the beginning of her captivity, there is this scene where he fingers her and at that time she is upset with him and doesn’t respond. And when he sees she is not enjoying it, he stops. People have been discussing this scene as the dub-con one and it is up to your interpretation. After the horrible act of sending that videotape to her father, honestly, I didn’t mind this scene at all. And at that time, I was also too angry with Mila for throwing herself at a stranger’s arms and doing it with no dignity at all. She meets him and immediately there are cartoon hearts in her eyes. And all through the book, while captive and non-captive, she lusts for him non-stop. His scent, his eyes, his fingers, his body… she goes on and on about the things that cause her to want him instead of hating him. That was too annoying for me. More annoying than everything he did. She was never able to grow a backbone.
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Mila also slu*t-shames other women as if she has any pride. That was hypocritical.
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I didn’t like Ronan and Mila as a couple. I didn't feel their chemistry in the first half of the book because all I read was a silly girl with no pride throwing herself at a man who kept on demeaning her.
In the second half of the book, I started to feel their chemistry but when I felt it, it was too late for me to enjoy it after all that bad taste it left in my mouth.
Regardless of everything, I don't think they are a good match at all. I don’t think a man like Ronan would fall for a girl like Mila. Why would he? Wouldn’t he be impressed by a strong woman with a smart mouth instead?
And can someone tell me how a girl with such a soft heart like Mila falls for a ruthless killer? She cannot even stand the idea of him killing a wild dog that might harm her and she is OK with all his murders and tortures?
All in all, I don't think they fit.
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As for the writing, it seems to be a dual point of view but the majority of the book is told from Mila’s perspective. Ronan’s chapters are much fewer.
I liked Danielle’s writing in Book 1 and 2 in this series but here, the writing is not as good. This book drags a lot with boring story fillers. It is a very long book and especially the first half of the book until 50% is very boring. I thought of dropping it many times but after 50% mark, it gets better and more bearable.
The mafia scenes are not good, especially the trading scene of Mila with her father is a very stupid one. How could someone like Ronan be so careless and unprepared?
The ending of the book is good. There is no epilogue but it is a cute ending.
The most problematic thing about the writing of this book is all the Russian language in it. Those Russian sentences are mostly not translated so I had to stop and google translate them all the time. If it were a book I enjoyed, I would have hated the interruption. That’s not cool to put another language in an English book and not give translations. Just saying…
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As for safety, they are not with anyone else after meeting each other, if it means something to you after all.
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My Rating:
Honestly, I thought too much about my rating. I want to be fair and it is too hard when you have so many contradicting feelings about a book.
Let me say this:
Despite all the things I disliked in this book, IF RONAN HADN’T SENT THAT VIDEO TO HER FATHER, I would have given it 3 stars. But I can’t now. A man who does this to me can’t be the man I love and similarly, he can’t be the hero in my romance novel.
However, in no way, this book would be a 4 or 5 star book for me with a stupid girl like Mila. For me, Mila is the one who damages this book more than Ronan does. Ronan just makes the killing shot.
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SOME QUOTES FROM THE BOOK
Look how naïve and silly Mila is:
He tilted my head with the other hand to deepen the kiss, and I tasted a familiar hint of cinnamon. They chewed the same type of gum. They had history.
Oh wow, how bright she is. She thinks using the same brand of a product means two people have history.
***
Here are some moments she embarrasses herself:
“I don’t want special treatment.” I don’t deserve it. “You should treat me like anyone else who happens to look at you the wrong way.”
“I find your sacrificial lamb mentality nauseating.”
***
“I like you.”
He watched me for a heavy second, then his eyes darkened. “Do you get off on embarrassing yourself?”
***
God was laughing at me when he delivered my revenge straight to my hands wrapped in a perfect, environmentally friendly package. Although, he must not have accounted for Mila to practically beg me to take advantage of her.
***
“If you despise me so much just because of who my papa is, then I feel sorry for you.”
He gave a dry, amused look. “Coming from someone who spread her legs for her papa’s enemy two seconds after meeting him. Perhaps the one who should be pitied here is you.”
***
I didn’t care about this girl. I just didn’t like killing women.
***
“Apparently, they don’t make girls as smart as they used to.”
I was stupid. I knew it, and I accepted it. But hearing it from his lips sent a burst of fire through me.
***
“I think you’re enjoying it more than you’d like.”
“We both know I could have you any way I want. Unfortunately for you, I have better things to do than Mikhailov whor*s.”
***
I said I wouldn’t sympathize with him, but it was hard when he threw his tragic past in my face. I prayed Ronan wouldn’t talk about being an orphan living on the streets. Otherwise, I may as well just tie my hair back in preparation for signing over my soul.
***
I didn’t know why I did this to myself; why I cared so much tears burned the backs of my eyes; why I couldn’t hate him even now. If anything, I despised myself for serving Ronan the vulnerability on a silver platter, only for him to reject me like cheap vodka.
***
Honestly, what did I expect handing over my virginity to the man who abducted me? The fact that sentence even existed in my head told me I needed help.
***
It was a frustrating development that my body lit up like a firework display when the man was near, pushing aside all qualms he would murder my papa in cold blood. I needed therapy. Or church. Anything to exorcise the demons that raged in eagerness at the sound of his voice.
***
I’d like to say I was strong enough to resist temptation in all its forms, but . . . just seeing him in a pair of boxer briefs made me want to rock my hips against him and slide my hands from his pecs to his abs.
***
“I get enough easy puss*. I’m not in the mood for more.”
His words should dissuade any woman and send her running to find literally anyone else. But I didn’t want another.
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“When someone calls you a whor*, you get the f*ck out of their bed,” I growled. “It’s called having a little self-respect.” Did I have to teach this girl the basics before she went home to Miami and let men degrade her?
***
“You’re truly the worst kidnapper I’ve ever met.”
“Coming from the girl who gives all captives a bad name. Spreading your sunshine all over my house, apologizing every step of the way. Let’s not forget the part where you came to your kidnapper’s room and begged him to f*ck you. At least you’re not a cliché.”
“It’s called Stockholm syndrome. What’s your excuse?”
***
Oh did I mention that he slaps her once?
I didn’t get to finish the word because he slapped my face. It wasn’t hard, but it turned my head in surprise nonetheless.
***
And here’s how she thinks she has the right to slu*t shame others as if she herself has any self-respect.
A few of the maid’s dress buttons were undone, giving a generous glance down her bodice whenever she bent over. And she bent over a lot. I wanted to tell her to have a little self-respect, but I wasn’t sure it would resonate coming from a girl who would have probably had unprotected sex with Ronan on the first date if he’d asked. I usually had high respect for blue-collar workers, but that one . . . What a peasant.
***
Here is the only passage that made me feel something:
“You DON’T get to die for me, kotyonok. If anyone dies between us, it will be ME. Do you understand? … You would survive without me. You would move on. I can’t imagine a world where you and all your f*cking yellow doesn’t exist. So if you die, you’ll take me with you. Your sacrifice would mean nothing, kotyonok. NOTHING.”
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And what is it about the weird use of “narcissistic“ in the book? Can someone explain?
“Where’s the passion you gave Ivan, kotyonok? I won’t believe you have reservations about kissing two men on the same day.”
“The only reservation I have is kissing you.
“I guess we’re both NARCISSISTIC then.”
***
He was pretty confident the bullet had missed bone, only tearing through muscle. How NARCISSISTIC I got once again. I’d normally be enjoying two fingers of vodka and a cigar after this day.
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